January 17, 2006


  • I think that Canada is a wonderful and logical holiday destination, but it's puzzling that someone would choose January to visit. It's not unlike planning your vacation to Malaysia in the middle on monsoon season, or to Providence for some fun in the beachy sun during its annual red crab migration. This random introduction does have a purpose.


    Two nights ago, on my way home from a friend's house at approximately 1:30AM, I stopped at my favourite late-night pizza-by-the-slice place for a snack. Exiting my car, I was immediately accosted by an intoxicated older man who said something about "...[inaudible mumbling]...ten dollars...[inaudible mumbling]..."


    "I'm sorry, I don't have ten dollars for you," I replied.
    "NO!...[inaudible mumbling]...want to MAKE ten dollars!"
    "Do I want to make ten dollars?"
    "Yesth...my friends need a ride to their hotel, and the we've been waiting two hours...[inaudible mumbling]...for a cab."
    "Ummm...I just wanted some pizza. I uhhh..."
    "Please?" he asked.
    "Si, por favor," his friend asked.
    "Huh?"
    "Yesthh, they're visiting from Mexico. I don't know them, but I found a hotel for them."
    "Okay, well, I'm going inside to get my pizza."


    When I came back out, they were waiting.


    "Do you still want a ride?" I asked, relishing what I was sure would be my last few minutes on earth. I figured they were probably some desperate killers.
    "Yesth...yesth...thank you."
    "Si...si...gracias."


    And so all four of them piled into my car, with no less than three grocery bags full of hard liquor. As we drove, and the intoxicated semi-friend of the alleged Mexicans gave me directions, I realized we were entering an industrial zone. I imagined my body, mutilated beyond recognition, floating in a vat of some industrial chemical, or buried in a shallow grave at the Calgary West Landfill.


    As it turned out, obviously, I did not die. But hopefully three Mexicans can look past the dreary month they spent in my winterized and brown city, to the friendliness of some random guy with a car.


    Oh, and I didn't charge them the ten bucks. I ain't no taxi.

Comments (20)

  • So you didn't get the ten bucks, but why do I feel their grocery sack was a little lighter?

  • gracias senor Drewski.

  • drew, you make me laugh.  grathias.

  • DREW i love you, you are freakin hilarious. i think you should go into the taxi business, it looks like you got experience now

  • you are cooler than cool.. ice cold!

  • Great story....when are we going to hang out?!  I am going to call this week.

  • thanks for the good words, and good picture, too, of you and roy and coffee and marzell. yep. and your anecdote about your british friend-- anyone who authentically uses the word 'cardie' is my hero. i'm glad to hear that you came out of that scrape alive, goodness. i would have been scared as hell, but then again, i am a female, and we are oppressed from every side...
    grumblegrumblegrumble... i blame my class for all these troublesome new indignities.
    take care.

  • i would have charged them 20 bucks

  • yes bill we know...

  • someday when you are carrying a bag of hard liquor at 1:30am and need a ride to your hotel while 'vacationing' in mexico...you will hopefully be blessed by a pizza eating stranger...who hopefully shares his pizza with you.  

  • i posted something on January 17th...you should be conserned, cause i miss my friend REW

  • was than $10 American or $10 Canadian?  Very cool on the ride, but if I would have seen the story on CNN about you getting carjacked (and all the bad stuff that goes with it) I would have stood up (Guinness in hand) and yelled something to the liking of I know that guy (well sort of) and that just wasn't right.

  • Doppio?

  • I DID get your voicemail.  It was such a nice surprise.  I have been thinking about you a lot, for many reasons, but mainly because I am using that...bottle... you got me in Thailand all the time now since Mark got me a ... bottle opener (?) ... for Christmas.  Hee, hee, hee.

  • I was also thinking ... would you re-design my xanga in a hillbilly theme with hay bales and underage girls all over it?  I think my xanga should mirror my life.

  • level head in comments
    level head in life

    props.

  • awesome...good times...it' would take at least 8 drunk men to push you into a vat of chemicals. 

  • wow....so many movies these days that makes one rethink about letting hitchhikers in one's car.....'white castle' and 'crash' for instance.. glad you're still alive. heehee. i think it'd be worse to get raped (for males) by a male hitchhiker than to get randomly killed..i dunno. me and phil debate about it

  • thats halarious man

  • hmm.. well, I just came back from Toronto after visiting my aunt... how ironic. It sure was freezing cold. Niagara fall was a blast.

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