January 5, 2006
-
I reached into my engine, disgusted, feeling like part of an old Sex & The City
episode where an old woman searches in a trash can for food. "And I got
to thinking...when it comes to relationships, maybe we're all in glass
houses, and shouldn't throw stones..."But I digress.
This sordid tale begins a week ago, and perhaps even far before that,
perhaps even back unto the beginning of time. God created the heavens
and everything else, and it was good. Eve ate the apple; Adam was a
fool, and his wife's slim lines coerced him into believing this apple
was tasty. Mankind was evicted from the Good Garden. Eventually, there
was a great flood, and scientists rumour that at that time, the world
broke apart, forming what we now know as continents. Some drifted east,
some west; some drifted northeasterly and some southwesterly. And so
on.Skip forward to the late 1800s. The patronly Jens Jespersen sought a
better place to raise his family. Of Danish descent and highly noble
nature, he took the great risk that many others did and migrated to
North America. At the end of what I can only assume was great
misfortune or a series of poor choices, he and his own found themselves
in North
Dakota, and soon decided to follow the likely example given by the very
continent upon which he stood, and migrate northwesterly. To Canada. To
Alberta. To Calgary. To be exact.December 28, 2005, one week ago. Snow falls often here in the
winter, and if you have lived in snowy climes, you know that the beauty
of the snowfall quickly diminishes into brown
slush, which eventually diminishes into gravel and dust, which
eventually is flung up into the air by traffic, settling on anything
and everything. Those of anal-retentive bent panic to see our cars
disparaged so wantonly by the city's inconsiderate annual budget, which
allows for such things as gravel and sand to be strewn about in the
winter. Peering obsessively under my hood a week ago, I noticed it
looked careworn, and sorely in need of a wash. It's a testament to the
non-clinical nature of my obsessive-compulsiveness that it took a whole
week to actually wash it. And so....I reached into my engine, disgusted, feeling like part of an old Sex & The City
episode where an old woman searches in a trash can for food. And what did I find?A piece of pizza. Pepperoni. In my engine.
Comments (20)
i consider it fortunate that i can be the first to comment on such a post. heh~~ to simply put it, i like it. ^_^ and how did it taste?~
So did you enjoy it cold? Perhaps you drove around a little bit to warm it up.
HAHAHAHAH PEPPERONI PIZZA?!?!?! That's hilarious and not anything I was expecting you to say. Why do the cities use sand? I never understood that. My city has always used salt and the first time I was subjected to the sand I was not a happy camper.
Anyway, Happy New Year!
hmmm... engine greasy pizza topped with motor oil.... a new urban delicacy!!!!
that's hilarious!
do you mean to tell me that if dear old Jens had settled instead in Philly, your car would currently be rinsed clean by recent rains, there would be no pepperoni pizza in your engine, and i would have but a two-hour drive between me and your grill which i'd proceed to get all up in?? unbelieveable. where's a time-travel machine when you need one?
no, if he was in Philly there would be a cheesesteak in his engine. and a bum.
Andrew Andrew Andrew...how many times do I have to tell you not to hide your food?
i think the world has somehow gone wrong since adam and eve... no not only the spiritual realm sense, one nicht ago adam and eve were destroyed by a holey fruit and this morning a dirty car engine is eating pepperoni pizza (or perhaps the other way around?). analyize: 1."dirty" how is snow getting dirty? why does it bother us that the combination of chemicals and whatever, which all is originally of the same origin as us, dust and ashes, is silking into our belongings? why even notice? 2. "car engine"...simply a connotation of filthy rich guys racings with ladies disgracefully camouflaged their beauty in lust appeal. 3. "eating"...we do too much of that todays. 4. "pepperoni pizza" ... hardly anyone realizes what a real pizza tastes like, and the original was not pepperoni (which is a vegetable) but salami. and the cheese used was mozarella won out dairy produce from the italian waterbuffalo.
right on drew. you have inspired me. i realized the reason for most depressions. people think they cant save the world or even make a difference. well in the world everyone lives in their is need and it can be met.
roy
i noticed that you commented on josh kue's site. i thought you were just this random canadian guy whose site one of my freshman friends recommended reading. ha. how do you know kue?
how the crap... Were you tempted to eat it at all... lol
"Come listen to a story
about a man named Jens..."
Yeah dirt, ick. Rachel's road is all gravel so driving to her place practically guarantees a washing however with a visit or two a week totally defeats the purpose.
Hey Mr Drew. It may be late, but Happy New Year.
How you doing?
i point the finger at nabes...serial automobile saboteur, the purveyor of pizza peril. deep, DEEP (like a deep dish pizza) down i've always known he was e-vil.
Great post!!
I don't see how you can blame Jens Jespersen. It never wouldn've happened if you'd just swerved to miss the poor pizza boy.
Yes, I do possess some mad skills, but you will never see any of my work over at this site.
Brilliant, yet completely disturbing at the same time!
One question: Did you eat the slice of pizza?
I did not eat the slice of pizza, no. Well, after the first test bite, that is...
ryc I do think it has the potential to be a good movie. I do hate it though when the people tell us what the best pictures are going to be etc. Titanic was supposed to be a bomb, and I never saw it. Hope all is well
That's so great...somehow i missed this whole pizza thing. how random.
Comments are closed.