August 28, 2006
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Messenger Chat Ethic is a strange thing. What I think is rude, someone else might find perfectly acceptable. If you start chatting with someone, are you committing to that conversation until it reaches its natural conclusion? Is it acceptable to, while in the midst of conversation, leave the computer without warning for 5-10-15-20 minutes? Is it acceptable to, in the midst of conversation, switch your status to "busy" or "away" and let that alone state that the conversation is over (or postponed)? I think not.
I have a fairly strict chat ethic, it seems. If you're chatting with someone and you have to leave for an extended amount of time, you tell them. How hard is it to say, "One sec, phone" or "Be right back, I'm about to soil my pants if I don't hit the toilet NOW!" or "Oh crap, the INS is knocking on my door again. Hold on while I dim the lights...." I mean, honestly. I've been chatting with people, and then all of a sudden they're gone; 30 minutes passes; they arrive back and continue on as if nothing had transpired. Well nothing, in fact, had transpired, but mostly due to the fact that they left. The whole point of chat is that something transpires. Communication. Words. If you don't want to chat with someone, pony up and tell them. They can handle the rejection. Ohhhhhh no! So-and-so didn't want to chat with me! I'm broken, a hollow shell my former self! My life is now completely and utterly meaningless! Uh-huh. Trust me, they'll get over it. And if they don't, a failed chat conversation is the least of their worries.
So tell me your thoughts on chat etiquette. What's hot and what's not? What bugs you? What e-vile chat behaviours do you exhibit? Come on, fess up.
Comments (9)
Ahhh I suck at all that etiquette, anyways. All I know is that I don't assume that because someone is signed in, that they're really available to chat. Because I'll often leave my computer signed in even if I'm in and out of the room. I dunno. It's just a thing I do.
etiquette? i really couldnt say. one thing that gets me is when the person you are chatting with uses so many abrieviated form of words that your not sure what their saying and it comes out as numbers and letters that might as well be code for all i know.
I think IM chat etiquette is the same as that of any other form of real-time conversation. If you're talking to someone in the flesh or on the phone, you don't just walk away or hang-up. Its a matter of general good manners. BTW, I know I did that to you yesterday. As you know, I have problems with my internet line. I was sending messages to you trying to say that I was going to watch a DVD, but every time I sent a message it was sent back saying it could not be delivered. So it was not my intention to leave you hanging like that. I hope this post doesn't refer to that particular incident.
I agree. But let's face it, the world just isn't as polite a place as it used to be. I encounter this in "real" life as well as "e" life.
As for my own e-vile chat behaviour, I don't know enough about on line etiquette to spot it. You could tell me more about what I do wrong than I could.
A couple of things that annoy me about IM chat: 1. People who feel the need to hit "enter" after every four words. Like:
how was your weekend?
i went to the movies
saw descent
it was pretty good
[I HATE when people do that, especially if your IM makes noises every time you get a new message.]
2. Proper spelling and grammar is still important (including capitalization).
3. I never know what to do if I don't have anything else to say and don't feel like continuing the conversation with meaningless small talk. I mean, if we're really having a conversation, then I should expect someone else to write something if there's a lull in conversation, right? I'm not talking about ignoring a question or statement that obviously warrants a response, but there are some vague statements that don't necessarily require a rejoinder. Anyway, whatever. I realize none of this helps you. I'm just feeling in the mood to hog all the space on your blog.
I don't get how this whole thing works. I never see anyone I know online. Or myspace will say they are online but they aren't signed into messenger. Either way, I never chat anymore. When I did I was the hit enter after every four words girl, but I never left a conversation without saying something. If my computer went wacko I would write an e-mail apology as soon as I got back online if the person wasn't still around. It's just friendlier that way.
To me one of the best and worst things about instant messaging is the humour. Ie had some outrageously funny chats with people, ones where you end up laughing so hard you can only type gibberish. The downside comes in when you try to explain this to someone, the whole joke seems to whither away and you end up sounding lame. It might just be my bad storytelling technique though.
Anyway, if you haven been there go check out the top 100 @ http://www.bash.org
i think you did a pretty good job
summing up good chat etiquette.
i dont have much to add except i dont
like those audibles things of yahoo.
and sometimes conversations dwindle
and no one types for a while... and
im okay if someone signs out after
a long silence... i dont know, i think
im pretty good at chat etiquette.
I agree with your stance on etiquette for internet chatting. For me, I have a hard time multi-tasking, so I am a captive audience regardless if I want to be or not. Honestly though, if I had to leave the conversation, I would tell the individual. There is no shame in admitting that you have the scoots and if you don't leave now you will not make it to the toilet without a huge mess in your pants. No Shame!
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