March 28, 2006
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It's the people who are not afraid to challenge us and risk our 'righteous' indignation, who are most worth keeping around. Friends and flatterers and fun people will come and go, but it's the mark of a TRUE friend who becomes vulnerable and honest in the interest--and only in the interest--of his or her friend or loved one.
If it's my turn to be honest, I'm just overcome with shame and guilt for some of the ways I've behaved recently, to people whom I claim to love and respect. Why we do things and behave compulsively sometimes is beyond my comprehension. What seems sometimes beyond my comprehension as well is the ability to forgive betrayal and lies and deceit...until it's my turn to do so, and I care enough about that person to the point where it's not even an option or a consideration to be made.
I guess I'm really interested lately in honesty, though I haven't always been succesful at being completely honest with the people that I love. It's a really hard thing for me, because I've protected myself for so long with the ability to be dishonest. It's something that I'm working on.
Am I so afraid that people will TRULY know me, glaring faults and all, if I'm totally honest?
I think I am.
Comments (15)
Honesty? Who needs that, not in SK anyways. What glaring faults do you have there Drew, besides knowing too well how to make my stomach rumble with all that aroma that wafted out of your apartment kitchen so much. Yes I did glare at you hoping you would get the hint but you were nice enough to share on occasion ^^ I never did get to try your famed creme brulee.
Excellent post Andrew. I know that you will find, that when you are totally honest, you are also wholly and completely loved. It is a great way to live your life.
i think for me, there's always that thought in the back of my mind that whatever honest moment i just had was the straw that broke the camel's back in whatever friendship. like it's going to be too much. but i've seen this summer that people crave honesty in their friends even when it sucks. and you can't be completely friends when there's a wall between you.
I used to think a person should be honest all the time... then I got married.
is it just me...or did that sound really deep. or maybe cuz it's four in the morning. ahh.~!!! i can't think jack right now. i havta write a freaking college essay due in like six hours, in which i don't even know what i'm supposed to write about. so screwed....so screwed...so screwed...
Honesty is a tricky thing. It's what we all say we want from others and what we expect from ourselves. But you are right for being concerned about what others may think if they know "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth". Sometimes people want to see us a certain way and the truth can change that for them. But those that truly love you will always love you even when they know who the "real" you is.
A wise man once said "the person we are when we're alone with ourselves is our true self".
The funny thing about the truth is that it remains the truth whether or not anyone believes or accepts it.
I think you're just being hard on yourself. I'm sure you're way more honest than you give yourself credit for. Everyone makes mistakes, Drew. It doesn't mean that you're fundamentally dishonest. Chin up, buddy.
I think that I have to agree with shakemegadisco. I have never known you to be dishonest, and I remember several times when you have corrected yourself and immediatly said that you were wrong. I think that you are awsome, and as Whitney Houston (or is it Mariah) says - "I will always love you."
Honesty is always the way to go... but is definitely the hardest at times, depending on what the circumstances are.
haha, to this very day, we still talk about the time when we creeked you. I laugh hystarically every time I think about poor Bill and how you had a "good grip" on him the whole way down to the creek. haha, oh yeah, and then when Phil bit you and you let out a monstrous roar that sent him hiding for the rest of the evening in various spaces in the dorm. ahhh, the memories. I miss you Drew. You bring sunshine to my life! You should come for grad man! That would be terrific!
dude, alles ist gut mann. hey when are you going to cook for me again? that's the real question.
Of course you're afraid.
But so is every other person in the world.
Thanks for being honest with me. I love you a lot.
i know what you mean when you say that you are afraid to be totally honest about yourself to the people you love:
but let me tell you about something that happened to me this year: i became totally honest with one of my friends...and it was the best thing on earth for our relationship. If the person really cares about you....they will appreciate you so much more...even your darker side, they will work with you to make you a better person
And in the end, it was vice versa...and i love that person so much more...Keep it real drew
love you
So you are addicted or not?
I read that Smallville is filmed up in Vancouver, BC... yeah I know that's light years away from you but the fact that you are closer to Kristen Kreuk makes me quite envious of you ^^ Ah who am I kidding, Rachel 100 times better than her.
I think we all suffer from some kind of compulsive behaviour to a certain extent. As for "glaring faults," what you may percieve to be a fault others might percieve to be a part of who you are. And there's no shame in being yourself. For that people will love you and trust you.
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